Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people on their deathbeds

For many years I worked in palliative care . My patients were those who had gone home to die . Some incredibly special experiences were shared . I was with them in the last three to twelve weeks of their lives . People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality .

I learned never to underestimate someone's ability for growth . Some changes were phenomenal . Each experienced a variety of emotions , as expected , denial, fear, anger , remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Each patient found their peace before they departed, each one of them .

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently , common themes surfaced. Here are the five most common :

1. I wish I had had the courage to live a life true to myself , not the life others expected of me .

This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back , it is easy to see how many dreams have not been realized. Most people had not honored even half of their dreams and die knowing that it was due to choices they made , or not made ​​.

It is very important to try and honor at least some of your dreams along the way . From the moment that you lose your health , it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize , until they no longer have.

2 . I would not have worked so hard .

This came from every male patient that I followed . They missed their children 's youth and fellowship partner . Women also spoke of this regret . But as most were from an older generation , many of the female patients had not been the one who supported the family . All men companions deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence .

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way , it is possible to not need the income that you think you need . And by creating more free time in your life , you become happier and more open to new opportunities , ones more suited to your new lifestyle .

3 . I wish I had had the courage to express my feelings .

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result , they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming . Many developed related to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result diseases .

We can not control the reactions of others . However , although people may initially react when you change the way you're speaking honestly , in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level . Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win .

4 . I wish I had kept in touch with my friends .

Often they do not truly realize the benefits of old friends until they are on your deathbed, and it was not always possible to re - find them in recent times. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that had let golden friendships escape in recent years . There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved . Everyone misses their friends when they are dying .

It is common for anyone with a busy lifestyle , let friendships slip , but when you are faced with your approaching death , the physical details of life fall . People want to put their finances in order , if possible . But it is not money or status that has the true importance for them . They want to fix things for the benefit of those they love. Usually though , they are very sick and tired of dealing with this task. And it all comes down to love and relationships in the end. This is all that remains in the final weeks , love and relationships .

5 . I wish that I had let myself be happy.

This is surprisingly common . Many do not realize until the end that happiness is a choice . They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits . The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions , as well as their physical lives . Fear of change had them pretending to others and to themselves , that they were satisfied . When deep within, they longed to laugh and be silly in your life again . When you 're on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind . How wonderful to be able to relax and smile again , long before you are dying .

Life is a choice . It's your life . Choose consciously , choose wisely , choose honestly . Choose happiness .